Reinventing Mona by Jennifer Coburn

Author:Jennifer Coburn [Coburn, Jennifer]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Tags: General, Contemporary Women, Fiction
ISBN: 9780758223135
Google: YGNQIisPVroC
Amazon: B009L64PJ6
Publisher: Kensington Books
Published: 2007-01-01T05:00:00+00:00

Chapter 22

As instructed, I was on the eBay auction for Ozzfest tickets at the stroke of 11:00 that night. Truth be told, I logged on at 10:15 and got into a bidding war for a pair of wedge boots that were absolutely adorable, despite the fact that they were a size too big and a color I didn’t really need. I already owned black boots, but after forty minutes of sifting through nearly 200 pairs of cowboy boots, baby booties, and a vinyl of “These Boots Are Made for Walkin’,” I felt lucky to find a pair so close to what I was actually looking for. My intention was to bid twenty-five dollars and forget about it, but as soon as I confirmed my bid, a message from eBay popped up. “You have been outbid by another buyer,” it informed me. “Oh yeah, who?” I asked the screen. I remembered Mike looking at an area called “bidding history,” so I went there to find that some shoe-thieving little tart known only as ShoePrincess had declared war over my boots. I clicked back to the bidding section and upped the ante to thirty-five dollars, and within seconds received a message from eBay, again informing me that I’d been outbid again. “What?!” I cried, outraged, before going back to the bidding history. “ShoePrincess,” I grumbled. When I was outbid a third time, I found myself shouting, “Die ShoePrincess, die!” Not since the Wicked Witch of the West stalked poor Dorothy for her ruby slippers had a pair of shoes been so highly coveted. Clearly, I had Oz on the brain. Like a sprinkling of fairy dust, I heard the two-note arrival of an instant message.

Good girl, Mona Lisa.

Mike?

Who else calls you Mona Lisa?

What are you doing?

Just earning my keep, making sure my girl is where she needs to be. You haven’t bid yet, right?

No, but I’m doing battle with some bitch named ShoePrincess who seems to have nothing better to do than park herself on eBay and outbid me the second I try to buy these cute go-go boots. Every time I bid, she’s right there taking me down. She does it in seconds. Like it’s personal. She’s just so right there in my face.

Ha!

What ha?

You know she’s not really sitting there at her computer, right?

What do you mean?

Oh man, I almost don’t want to tell you.

Tell me!!!!!

You see the area where it asks how high you’re willing to bid? Hers must’ve been higher than what you’re putting in, so eBay automatically lets you know if you want to stay in the game, it’s time to step up.

Oh.

Still want the boots?

I’m not sure.

Are they black?

Yes.

Leather?

Yes.

Be sure. Be very sure.

How come?

Very sexy. Take the bitch down at the end of auction. When does it end?

Two days.

Mona Lisa!!! Get outta there and go buy your Ozzfest tickets. Stop pissing around and go back when the fucker’s ready to close in ten minutes. Have I taught you nothing? Go bid on Ozzfest and come back. I got an idea for you.

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